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And What does that really mean?
Firstly it's about honouring our place in the world around us. Being proud of who we are. That's not about bragging! But I'm sure you have strong values and morals that you live your life by.
The problem is when others don’t respect us and take advantage. We want to be loved and accepted, it's part of what makes us humans. Connection with others is so vital, as we are social beings.
But there are times when others can try and ride roughshod over us, mocking the ‘rules’ we live our lives by. At times this can leave us doubting ourselves, especially when we feel vulnerable. This can be especially noticeable if we find ourselves in a toxic relationship. It could be a friend, family member, or love interest.
Warning signs.
1. You don’t speak up, even when what has been said doesn’t sit well with you.
2. You overshare, leaving yourself vulnerable in situations that aren’t safe.
3. You are desperate for another s attention or love
4. You lose your identity, unsure of who you are.
Tips on how to rebuild your self-worth/value
* Don’t self-deprecate, by calling yourself names, - like ‘ You are so stupid’ …..We can make mistakes, we are human, but it doesn’t mean we are stupid. The more you do this, the more you are likely to feel bad about yourself.
* Boundaries are really important
*It's so easy to make excuses for others, when they let you down, constantly late for meetings, or catchups. Or when they expect you to do things for them. Even when it doesn’t work for you., without a second thought about you.
*It's really ok to say ‘NO’ Or to say something if someone is late, not in a snarky way, but letting them know what it felt like for you to be kept waiting.
*Stop comparing yourself to others. The chances are you aren’t comparing like for like, and it will just make you miserable.
*You don’t need to apologise for things that aren’t your fault or responsibility. Neither do you need to say sorry over and over again.
*Learn to be kind and forgiving towards yourself.
*Learn to trust your intuition - your gut feelings. Often when it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t! But too often we doubt those feelings and try to talk our way out of them.
PODCAST NEWS
The 'Love~Listen~Talk~Repeat' podcast with Wendy Capewell
#128 - How Our Fight, Flight, Freeze Response is Triggered
Dr. Margo Jacquot is the award-winning founder and Chief Care Officer of The Juniper Center, one of the largest counseling and therapy practices across Chicagoland, with 70+ clinicians at 5 locations, plus serving all of Illinois and Indiana with telehealth.
IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT -
• How our nervous system results in our body reacting into a Fight, Flight, Freeze response.
• How our previous events, situations, or traumas can trigger one of those reactions.
• How we are constantly scanning others, or situations to check whether they are safe or not
• How each of those responses (Fight, Flight, Freeze) shows up in situations.
• How those responses show up in our relationships and the effect they have
• How we can change our negative and knee-jerk reactions and take back our power.
About - Dr. Margo Jacquot, PsyD,
Award-winning founder and Chief Care Officer of The Juniper Center, one of the largest woman-owned counseling and therapy practices across Chicagoland, with over 70 clinicians at 5 locations, plus across Illinois and Indiana with Teletherapy. Margo hosts the podcast, Your Mental Health Business Mentor, helping clinicians find the balance between providing compassionate client care and business agility to grow their mental health practice.
Do let me know if you find the podcast interviews interesting, or if there is a subject you would like covered. wendycapewell@gmail.com
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